Forest of confusion by Karl Mountford
Imagine what it would be like to have the support and backing of your hero, to heed their warnings and benefit from their pearls of wisdom. How much could you achieve if your hero believed in you and your ability? How much action would you take, if they actively encouraged you to push past your comfort zone? How many walls would you leap over if you had some insider knowledge?
Read on to discover how to get your hero as your mentor.
What is a mentor and why do you need one?
A Mentor is someone who has achieved the success that you want. Someone who can help lead the way, encourage and push you beyond what you thought you were capable of doing.
Here are some, special powers a mentor can offer you;
- Warn you of things they’ve tried which didn’t work
- Inform you of the things they did which were successful
- Be there to bounce ideas off and have them give you an experienced opinion
- Point out errors in judgment that you may be unable to see
- Push you further than you would stretch on your own
- Ask you the right questions so you can solve your own problems
- Help keep you motivated when things get tough
- Keep you accountable – it’s harder to avoid doing things when someone checks up on you
- Help you network with potential collaborators
All these things could save you time and money and heartache, plus help you raise your game and reach your full potential
Famous mentor relationships;
Yoda was mentor to Luke Skywalker.
Madonna was a mentor to Gwyneth Paltrow.
Stanley Kubrick mentored Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise.
Bruce Lee mentored Jackie Chan
Someone who has been a good mentor to me is the author and BAFTA Award winning script writer Geoff Thompson. A few years ago, after reading many of Geoff’s fantastic books, I approached him to do an interview for Subvert Magazine, so I could learn more about his creative journey.
Geoff’s knowledge and experience has been invaluable to me and I’ve learned so much from him over the years. You can read our interviews with him here http://www.subvertmagazine.com/blog/geoff-thompson/.
“Working with a mentor can alleviate the stress of self doubt” Illustration by Karl Mountford
The Problem With Finding A Mentor
So it’s easy for people like us to have mentors because we’re meeting and interviewing interesting people all the time. But it’s going to be impossible for you to get a mentor because you don’t have the contacts and you don’t have much to offer in return, right?
Wrong.
The only thing preventing you getting one of your heroes as a mentor, is the belief that you can’t. When we’re grinding away towards our goals, but we’re not quite where we want to be yet, it’s easy to think we don’t have anything of value to offer. It’s that lack of self belief which prevents most people putting themselves out there and risking the rejection of a potential mentor.
Time for a reversal of perspective.
Why Your Hero Wants To Mentor You
There are several advantages a mentor gets from nurturing a hardworking ambitious talent…
- Mentoring can be an extremely rewarding experience when the student takes action on your advice and gets results
- It allows the mentor to strengthen their coaching and leadership skills
- It reinforces their expertise and credibility in their industry
- Providing support and guidance to a protégé motivates mentors to live up to and raise their own standards.
A few years ago, one of my friends from University did some design work for me. He did an excellent job and it was a pleasure working with him. A year later I sent him an email to catch up and I was surprised to discover that he was finding it hard to get a graphic design job. This was someone who was extremely talented, hard working and reliable. So I offered to mentor him to fill in the gaps and help him get the great job he deserved.
I gave him some tips on letter writing and email construction and also the mindset you need to foster when contacting anyone in business. He tried this out when submitting his work to a magazine and got an instant result. From his very first email he received a positive response, saying it was the best email they’d ever had and they were happy to feature his work.
With his confidence lifted, he applied for his dream job. I gave him some strategy advice and tips on how to attract attention. I also helped him through three interviews with his dream company. Each time he felt more confident. The company, were obviously impressed with him and at the end of the process they could see what an excellent candidate he was and they offered him the job.
The problem wasn’t a lack of graphic design talent or knowledge. The problem was a lack of marketing skills. He didn’t know how to highlight his achievements and demonstrate his core abilities. He had the attributes the company was looking for, but he didn’t know what they were or how to present them.
As a mentor I was able to quickly and easily help him fill those gaps, but most of all it was a pleasure for me to help a talented person, who was willing to listen and take lots of action. I got as much out of it as he did.
So now you understand that a good student is as important to a mentor as a the mentor is to the student – it’s time to go find your own. You can start the process with 100% confidence that it will be a mutually beneficial relationship, because you’re going to put in 100% effort to being a great protege.
“A mentor can help you network and connect you with the right people” Illustration by Karl Mountford
Your Mentor Getting Plan
You’re going follow this plan to get your own mentor;
- Choose the right mentor to approach
- Play a game you can win
- Write your first letter
- Handle rejection and stick with the process
Choose the right mentor to approach
You may have a number of heroes that you think would be ideal, if not, here are some tips to help you decide.
You want to choose a person who has been where you are now and has overcome the obstacles and problems that you’re experiencing.
The word ‘success’ has different meanings to different people. You may consider success as gaining public recognition, being a master of your craft or being able to demand a large amount of money.
Whatever, your definition of success is, you need to choose a mentor who shares your values and has achieved exactly the success you want to achieve.
Don’t worry about aiming too high; the whole purpose of finding a mentor is to get the very best advice you can.
“Aim for the sky and you’ll reach the ceiling. Aim for the ceiling and you’ll stay on the floor.” – Bill Shankly
When I was studying Fine Art at University, I became interested in Urban Vinyl and I wanted to interview all the top Urban Vinyl artists to find out more about the industry. I researched online and found the top 10 players in the whole industry and contacted each one. I used this process and to my surprise every single one replied and agreed to do the interview.
“Choose your mentor carefully” Illustration by Karl Mountford
Play a game you can win
Contacting someone who is successful takes time and patience. You have to understand and appreciate successful people are in demand. They have lots of people wanting their time and attention and they can be deeply involved in work projects for months at a time.
I’d recommend you choose at the very least 4 people you would like to be your mentor. (If you think 4 is a lot, consider that we spend at least half of our week seeking council from potential mentors!) Whether you pick 4 or 14 potential mentors you’ll still have to put in 100% effort with each one. As long as you follow that rule, the more people you contact the better chance you ultimately have of getting someone to say yes. If you put all your effort into just one person, you’re not giving yourself the best chance of success. There may be many reasons simply out of your control that one person might not be able to mentor you.
Never play a game that you don’t have any chance of winning. Set up the rules, so that with time and effort your success will be inevitable. At Subvert we never stop reaching out to people whose work and talent we admire.
When you have your list of candidates, be prepared to contact each of them 7-10 times before you get a useful response. This may take several months. I know you need the support and guidance right now, but guess what, nobody cares. Just like planting seeds, you can put it off forever, because you “need” immediate results, or you can start now and reap the benefits in the future. When you do find your mentor, this would have been an extremely wise investment of your time. It could fast track your business or freelance career and open physical and mental doors that have been firmly shut to you.
Planning your campaign
Write a simple plan of how you’re going to communicate with your potential mentors until one or more of them agrees to help you. Then make a note of what action you need to take each week and put it in your calendar. Commit to carrying out the whole plan!
For example;
- First contact – hand written introduction letter and sample of work.
- Second contact – follow up letter and second example of my work.
- Third contact – follow up letter with testimonial proving I take action.
- Fourth contact – follow up letter proving I value their time.
- Fifth contact – follow up letter proving their work has inspired mine.
- Etc…Etc.. for at least 10 steps.
Make your letter personal, entice them to read and give you a favorable response. Be creative, use your imagination and have fun with it.
“Stand out from the crowd and highlight your strengths” Illustration by Karl Mountford
Write your first letter
First of all you need to do some thorough research of your potential mentors and find a way that you can give them something to show that you value them and their time. After all, they aren’t a charity and you aren’t asking them for charity.
We’ve already highlighted some of the benefits a mentor gets from a good student, but you haven’t proven you’re a good student yet. At this stage you must prove you’re not just someone else placing one sided demands on their time.
There is always a way you can help someone, it just needs some creative thinking, and this is probably something your good at.
Here are some examples to get the ball rolling;
- Help promote their latest project or product in the real world. Offer to contact newspapers, magazines and radio stations to get them valuable publicity.
- Offer to manage a Facebook or Twitter page and help them attract new fans. Make intelligent comments on their posts and help spread the work they are already doing.
- Turn up to their trade show or exhibition and ask how you can help out. Find some grunt work and do it with passion.
They earned their success, you must earn their respect
More than anything you must remember that successful people worked damn hard to gain their success. They earned it and they deserve it. If you want a slice of that hard earned experience, you better be prepared to show them that you value it and back that up by being willing to trade for it.
Other key points to think about when writing your letter;
- Remember, your potential mentor’s time is valuable so you need to get to the point as soon as possible. You can add additional info after you’ve made your purpose clear.
- Start the letter with a strong reason for them to continue reading it.Tell them how they will benefit and what you can offer them, then go into what you would like in return.
- Be specific about what you want, for example; to be able to email them once a month with a single question and include your first question.
- Don’t ask for the earth before your potential mentors know you. You want this to be a long term relationship that lasts and grows.
It’s also beneficial to make it clear why you are an ideal candidate for them to mentor.
Demonstrate;
- How committed you are.
- How willing you are to take action on their advice.
- How ambitious you are.
- Point out your past achievements.
- If you have testimonials or feedback from clients or previous employers include these, if you’re straight out of college then contact some of your tutors and see if they are willing to provide you with character testimonials. These only have to be one liners, something brief and to the point.
Treat this project as though you’re interviewing for a job. Imagine their time is money and you need to show them why you deserve it and how the thing you are offering them is a fair exchange.
“Offer to help your mentor in exchange for their guidance.” Illustration by Karl Mountford
Handle rejection and stick with the process
Once you’ve sent your first letter (and it’s far better to hand write and post a personal letter if you can) don’t expect an instant response. If you get one, that’s wonderful, but don’t be surprised if you don’t. It’s nothing personal. There could be many reasons why they haven’t responded; They are too busy. Their staff haven’t passed it on to them yet. They’re out of the country. Or more importantly – you didn’t convince them enough yet!
Many people will ignore the first letter, just because it filters out 99% of lazy folk who aren’t really committed. And their brain won’t even start to see your communications in a meaningful way until the 3rd hit. So keep at it.
You’re going to keep contacting them with interesting letters until you get a response.
The biggest mistake people make is taking it personally when they don’t get an instant reply. And with each apparent rejection getting angrier with their would be mentor. Demanding to know why they haven’t written back. Or changing the tone of their letters from confident to needy.
So make sure each letter maintains a positive vibe and you add new information about the things you’ve been doing since the last letter.
“If you feel like you’re lost at sea, a mentor can help you navigate your way” Illustration by Karl Mountford
Time to put it into action
Remember, most people will send just one letter to one potential mentor before they lose confidence, lose interest and give up completely. But this isn’t you. I already know you’re ambitious and committed. Most people won’t even have made it to the end of this article. After reading the first couple of paragraphs and looking at the pictures, they’ve decided this all sounds like far too much hard work and they’re now looking for the next short cut to success.
But that’s good news for you, because you now have information that they don’t. Picture yourself 6 months in the future, after you’ve made the choice to put in that little bit of effort each week and you now have your own personal mastermind group of super successful high-achievers.
Can you picture it? Good, now start the ball rolling and let us know in the comments who you’re committed to getting on your team.
“You don’t have to be great to get started, but you have to get started to be great.”- Les Brown
Interview by Angel.
Amazing Illustrations by Karl Mountford
Hey Paul, I just read “Uncertainty” by Jonathan Fields, and he talks about the importance of having a group that you can go to for mentorship, feedback, and incubation of your ideas….so organically even before you published this, I was making the list! So cool to see your step-by-step instructions. So far, I’ve reached out to three people (two of which I was not confident I could even reach, much less communicate with)…and I’m 3 for 3.
If you’re reading this article, and thinking ‘…but that person would never want to mentor me’…you’re wrong. GO FOR IT with the biggest star (in your industry or endeavor) that you can think of!
Excellent! That’s what it’s all about, putting the self doubt to the Test and just going for it.
Let us know how your new mentor relationships evolve.
Paul.
i so appreciate this post on hero/mentor. gave me lots to chew on ans act on. one thing i appreciate about Subvert Magazine is the depth/substance/angles of your articles. no fluff here!
Got the list, got the idea, got the vibe – let’s start working on it!:-)
Angel and Paul, good to have you back with new stuff to get us more creative!
Wow, thats so great. I just came up with the same idea. I don’t want to be stuck where I am right now. I am someone who does films and I’m so committed to contact Lars von Trier. A danish director. I called them up, I wrote my first letter already and didn’t know what else to do and this came at the right time. I’ll keep you posted how it goes.
This is great! As one who is mentoring a young student and as a young professional being mentored, I gleamed much from this article to help me on both sides of the spectrum. I’m finding that I cultivate my motivation to be a good example for my mentee, as well as to step up and push through limits with the support of my mentor.
It can only beneficial to have mentor/mentee relationships–so if you don’t have one, it might be time to start planting those seeds.
Really liked this article. Just set up a coaching company and I’m doing a Masters in Innovation, Creativity and Leadership – be sending your link on for sure. Keep up the good work Subvert. Bx
What happens when you mentor someone and they, once they start their upward rise, turns around and sticks a knife in your back, spreads lies and rumors and attempts to rewrite their personal history and growth not to mention misrepresenting their skills and services.
I’ve been mentoring people on and off for nearly 30 years. At first it was offering advice to other apprentices alongside me as I felt it was a simple way to help others do what you already knew. From supporting sales teams to develop better skills and self belief to encouraging business leaders to realise they are not expected to have all the answers even when they’re top of a bigger pile my natural tendency to express an opinion has evolved into guidance, nurturing or deliberately challenging others to improve performance.
When I saw the detailed explanation of why mentoring is good, how to understand why the first approach may not work (a lot of truth in this area) and to be persistent I reflected and thought this is great advice, as there are many mentors who have the ethos of helping those willing to help themselves.
Anyone who wishes to benefit from mentoring needs to really help themselves after the relationship begins by doing what they committed to do (remember the mentor has invested more than providing a mirror) and revealing how they have truly grown as it will help the mentor to ‘up the game’ as fast as the mentee can perform. Keep up the good work!
http://www.rolexmentorprotege.com/en/about-the-initiative/index.jsp
[A Rolex link that isn't actually spam. Paul]
This is a great article and I only got halfway through before I bookmarked it and have scheduled time to go through all the steps. Thanks for ‘following’ me on twitter, thus…allowing me to find your site.
hey Eric, that’s some shift in pace from twitters 140 to our 1400000 character pieces. Hope you get to finish it and it has a longer lasting impact than a tweet :) Thanks for commenting. Paul.
I’ve learned that the fastest way to great mentors is to:
1. Tell everyone you know what you are into, and what your problems are in getting it done, and asking them to introduce you to people who care about those things.
2. Find all the people/organizations that are into what you are into, find them on twitter, reach out to them with a @mention and tell them you are looking for advice.
3. Have all the people you meet through those two channels introduce you to someone else.
If you are passionate about your topic, if you are teachable and willing to try the advice you get, you will get a very large network of people helping you very fast.
Great post with simple words of wisdom that provoke sharing it and taking personal action. Thank you.
thanks Sam, glad you’re getting value from our work and taking action! Paul.
Hi Angel and Co.,
Thanks for another great article! What stands out after reading this article on mentoring relationships is that you don’t know if you don’t try. But you have to ask your potential mentor. Otherwise people are often reluctant to give profound advice for fear it falls on deaf ears.
Personally I think it is also important to cultivate mentoring relationships in different areas of your life as well. That way you get a well-rounded perspective.
I found this very helpful. It pinpoints my concerns about finding a mentor and becoming a mentee.
Creating relationships in the professional world is important and often students don’t know the best way to go about it. One of my main concerns is that I don’t want to waste their time and I don’t know how I can be of help to him or her because I lack the experience.
The “keep trying” part of the post really got my attention. It’s true-experienced professionals really do want to see the dedication and want to know why you’re worth their time.
As a journalism student, I relate the idea to constantly calling a source who refuses to return your phone call. The reporters who work for well-known publications don’t have to deal so much with the stress of sources not getting back to you. They work for well-known publications, the sources know they are worthwhile to talk to because they are experienced and their message will reach a wider audience. With a student, it’s different. With each message you leave, you are trying to convince them why they are important to your story and why you’re worth talking too. You are pitching yourself to someone who may be busy or may not care. You have to prove yourself every single time until you get a response.
I really enjoyed this article for several reasons. I never actually thought about getting a mentor in journalism. However, this article has shown me that it would be incredibly beneficial to try to get one. I would love to try and become a mentee to someone in the industry that I am interested in in order to break into the business. I would love to work with someone in journalism or in music because those are my two passions and goals for my career. Thanks for writing such an informative and inspiring piece.
This was a very interesting and useful blog! I love the part where it says, “I know you need the support and guidance right now, but guess what, nobody cares.” That is so completely true. We’re nurtured to think that we are unique and special and that hard work will get us what we want…and while that may be true…a lot of people are unique, special, and hardworking, so it’s good to know ahead of time that you’re not the only one. A level head is definitely key. It’s a little difficult to identify which mentors are completely out of reach and which are more feasibly, but this article certainly helps weave out a few!
It’s been my experience that people are often more willing to help out than is expected. I thought some of my efforts would be fruitless, but I’ve had one mentor for the last two years who has helped tremendously. As a college student applying for internships and scholarships, I had very little knowledge of how to be professional yet stand out. My mentor has worked with me on resumes, cover letters, and the little details like your email signature.
After reading this post, I would just add that once you find someone willing to be a mentor, don’t stop being persistent. It’s important to keep up communication and still show them how committed you are to the relationship.
This article was not only insightful into the mentor-mentee relationship; it also offered thoughtful tips on how to find a mentor and how to build a successful, professional relationship with your “hero”, someone you aspire to be like. I was inspired by the article’s creative illustrations and thoughtful quotes from experts.
This article changed my perspective of finding a mentor. While it can be intimidating to reach out to someone you admire, they were once in the exact same position as you, trying to plan out their future. Everyone needs direction and guidance from a mentor who can provide advanced experience and wisdom. In my experience, a mentor can be someone you turn to when you have tough questions and doubts about your future career. Mentors can provide reassurance and comfort when your goals seem too lofty. And if the relationship works the way it should, both the mentor and the mentee can reap the benefits.
It was a very useful and interesting blog! In my experience, it’s been harder to find a mentor in an older individual but older students are always willing to help. This post was filled with enough instructions and tips that I feel comfortable contacting someone I admire about being a mentor. This article also helps weed out which heroes may not be feasible but the step-by-step instructions make me more confident about those in reach. The “keep trying” portion of the post was my favorite. It’s reassuring to know people do want to see you pursue them for their talents, to keep trying.
I’m intrigued by the volley of comments from ASU students. Did we make it onto someones homework assignment? :)
Hi Paul,
I teach Online Media at ASU, and I asked the students to comment on this post for a first day class assignment. We are researching the construct “hero” and creating a website on the topic over the semester. This Tumblr blog will reflect their behind the scenes work on the project: http://theheroproject.tumblr.com/. They are also required to create a video on their own personal hero, and I thought this post was appropriate. Thank you for responding.
Serena, sounds cool.
Are they required to interview their heroes? An interesting element might be to measure how they feel before meeting / interviewing their heroes. And then again after.
I think one of the biggest challenges of being in any kind of job that allows you to “see behind the curtain” is maintaining that youthful innocence and not becoming an old bitter cynic.
There’s a reason Santa has lasted so long as a hero. No one gets to meet him :)
Come back and update us when the project is done!
Paul.
Hey, I’m part of the “volley of comments from ASU students” except I’m late. Oh well, I would rather learn from this and not get credit than not learn from it at all.
Anyways, the thing that intrigues me about this article is the thought of finding a mentor in your career. I think mentorship goes beyond professional development, which you definitely mentioned. However, I think it may be more intriguing to find a mentor who is not only professionally sound, but sound in mind, health, spirit and body. I indeed have a mentor and he has helped me with some professional networking, but when I met him I cared much more about his story and how he got where was in his life than how he became successful. He is a happy, healthy person, from what I’ve gathered, and that’s all I really want in my life. The differences there are minor, but I think they matter because at such a young age I would rather strive for a goal of being happy than putting myself in one, straightforward goal. Things and dreams and desires change so much when you’re young having a mentor who not only cares about you professionally, but can guide you through every type of struggle, can be all the more beneficial. And much more difficult to acquire.
So my outlook on this article is: maybe? And I’m hoping that it’s not just because I’m lazy or because I don’t want to do the work, but because I don’t exactly know who, or what, I want. With time, I think those things will unravel.
Thanks for a great discussion, Paul.
Sounds like you’ve got your head screwed on right to me. :)
And its ok to question your own motives. Do I not want this or am I just being lazy, That’s what integrity is. Being honest with yourself. It requires just as much training, practice and work as any external skill. ( And only smart people do that. )
Angel.
This was a wonderful read. It was also quite inspiring as it addresses one of the greatest challenges that I am facing in starting my career. As you mentioned, one of the main obstacles to obtaining a mentor is the thought that you have not yet accomplished anything of note to qualify seeking out a mentor to donate their precious time to helping you succeed. That self-doubt has kept me from seeking out a mentor as I work to establish myself as a an entertaining and talented writer. As a video game journalist, there is a great number of heroes that I would love to have as a mentor, but I never had any idea how I would go about in attracting their attention in the proper manner. I love how you have broken down the process into steps that help get you started on the right path and I feel reassured that I will be able to find my mentor someday soon.
Go for it Preston, come back and tell us how you get on.
Angel.
I’m not sure who I’m going to get on my team yet because I am midst career change and possibly changing my mind about the career. I was going from Finance to Event Planning which is a huge jump in creativity, but I may need an even bigger jump. I LOVED the article though, and it already has my mind reeling. I am currently thinking, who would I want my mentor to be if I chose anyone, and does that give me insight into a direction I may want to take? There’s a lot of advice in there that can be used while choosing a mentor. I also find it helpful in a project I am working on that doesn’t involve a mentor but does require some of the points of advice.
Question: Some relatively high profile people do not put contact information on their sites, and their pr people specifically address the fact that they are not it, giving suggestions of other places that would not carry it either. If you have something legitimate to say, where do you send the email/letter? I can’t imagine that I’m the only person to run into this.
WWSHD?
(What Would Sherlock Holmes Do?)
Thank you so much for the article, it gave me a lot to think about. I hope to be a brilliant film director, get Steven Spielberg to mentor me, and direct my first ever film before the age of 23 .
Adam, that’s great, but HOPE isn’t a PLAN. Strike the word from your dictionary and work out how to make it happen. Then come back and tell us how you did it.
Angel :)
I was struck by the honesty of your ptosing
Really inspiring article! I was actually just about to write my first mentor letter & decided to turn to the web for guidance. SO GLAD I read this first. Angel, you’ve given me some great ideas. THANK YOU!
Great insight, and terrific advice. I find being a mentor to people is very rewarding. Finding good mentors is hard though, but it does take a lot of putting of yourself out there.
Great advice!
Many thanks for that Wonderful Contest. Would love to win!!